The Courage build my history.

Since all my steps are audience of my past, 
a past damasked by relevant joys, pain, growth 
and overload with treasure and souvenirs.
Every new steps arrives out of all steps taken, 
my face presents my history.

Life is unfair, sometimes the misery we can't bear..
This was a feeling i could never share..
I am strong, strong enough to move on from this pain.
I won't feel the shame, my life is not a game.
I feel tired of these tears and my fears..
I will cherish my inspiration.. 
I will find my dream, I don't dare to promise that's what I will achieve..
But, I will find the way to achieve. 

Maybe, I'm not who you will deceive..
I believe in MIRACLES. 
I won't fall, but i may be lost and be found..
One day I will find the perfect life, life will run beautifully, I will fly like a butterfly through the night, 
have a pleasant sight and afraid. But I will FIGHT!! 
I want so much to be free, so much I want to see..
I made a mistake but I won't let my self break.. 

JUST KEEP ON WALKING!!
A small voice said, don't dare to look back, just look straight ahead. 
Yes, so many things have changed, be strong and brave. Keep that chin up and dry your tears.
Don't cry over what you have done, at least you had it. 
This will be tough, but time will heal. Perhaps a new life will then reveal. 
Just walk away and stand up tall. Count your blessings one and ALL.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.. 

No captions

Life is what you see? Did you see my happiness just out from this photo? Can you feel what I feel ? Can you judged me from this photo? Can you tell me what you find out just in this photo? ..... 

This is the ordinary me. The one who don't know anything just hot tempered.. I captured what I've done when I have the happy mood. Can you see the different in this photo with the first? .... 

So, next is my dumbness face? 

The twin of me? 

First photo captured the happiness of mine, but I don't even realise that I'm not happy just in a better mood... because I don't even can smile widely.. 2nd photo with the dumbells. This show me how was my life is. The dumbells is what people looking for when they wanted to start their daily workout to achieve their dream. So, I captured it just to say that, I wanted to achieve my dream too... 3rd photo is to let people know that I have my own ability, my characteristic and my own history. NO one understand what I'm doing pulling up my hair, a little smile on my face.. but I know what I'm doing. I captured it because I wanted my life to be more colourful and SHINE LIKE A DIAMOND. Last photo of mine, left side showed that I'm looking for someone who can understand me, stay with me just to accompany me. Doesn't matter girl or boy just the one who willing to listen to me just for a second. Right side showed that I trusted that I can do it, even I'm always the failure but If I try my best, I surely can do it. This is what I captured just to see what my life is. Judge me for the reason, look at my history not my name. Called me with the warmness. 

Just the simples me .. :) 

No Topic ...

August, the worst month ever for me. I'm seriously tired with my life. I know somebody could ask, why are you moody all this while? What happened to you recently? What's going on? What make you so down? 

This is what I'm facing. I wonder why, there is so much betrayer? What is the games you played and what is the price you get for doing this? I'm tired, I try to changed myself for controlling my temper, talk nicely, solve it nicely and what else? Not enough? Come on, we are human. We got feeling, we cried, we smile and we chit chat around. What I've done bad to you until you stab me for years? Why couldn't we stay down and talked? We face each other maybe this can solve our misunderstanding. 

I'm may not the one friendly enough, may not be the one rich of knowledge. I'm just student which only graduated form 5 certificated. I know many people out there look down on me, but doesn't mean working also cannot learn anything. Just lack of some knowledge but I've still learning new things. I support the one who can study, why not? Study college or university can let you get a better future. Study well, get better future, why have to live for nothing. Some people don't even can continued they studies, why? Because they cannot effort the fees. But, they work hard to earn money and continued. I wish to study the course I wanted, but in the end I give up but this does't mean I let go my future, I choose the best way to effort my family. Nothing is important then my family. I choose to not study just to ease the burden on parents. They work so hard because of my studies. They never give up working hard just to earn the money for me to finished my secondary. 

You know my name, not my history ... so stop judged. 

I smile doesn't mean I'm happy ...

I cry doesn't mean I'm sad ...

Everything got their reason ... 

Peace of Teamwork

August, I'm back to my life. The real life of mine.



This is my colleague, we are helping each other... Ace fitness, the place where We work, we play, we joke, we taking photo of each others. Let me intro my friends. From the left side, Sherlyn which is our Ace Fitness new member with us. Friendly and helpful. Next, Cindy .. the one who make us crazy and happy. She is playful and funny. And this one is Ah Ee, strict but sometimes funny too. All of them joking around when we get bored.



So next, this is what I said, funny, joking and playful. How do we look like? A monkey :P
We play, we smile and we dance.. Yes, we enjoy. This is what they called "Ace Fitness Teamwork" ..



Well, another colleague.. He is Boy, our Personal Trainer. This trainer are super funny and like to dance around. But, he get serious when he is On Personal Training. He is supportive and well done in joking. Haha

Opps, Still got our Manager .. Karen and Adanan.. Karen are helping us taking photo and Adanan busy with the personal training. Both of them are real helpful in Ace Fitness Teamwork. They are caring and soemtimes crazy with us ... this is what we call " Fun&Focus "



This is our Field, we play, we joke and we learn. I've been spending 1 year 8 months at here, and I've learn how to communicate with customers/members. I've learn some healthy lifestyle. I've learn to face all the problem for sometimes. And I've learn some more at here. This is my history place, which I go thru a lot of hardness, happiness and sadness. Sometimes, I'm trying to do my best, but there is nothing I can done well. I try my best to cover up in some where I've drop again and again. I'm looking for the mistake, I'm looking for the future.. there is still someone give me an advice. He is the one who accept my weakness, dumbness and try his best to teach me a lot of thing within 1 year. He also try his best to help us. He is Sylvester. Our Fitness Owner :) Our supporter.

Sometimes .....

Sometimes we seen things that aren't meant to be seen.
Sometimes things aren't always as they seen.
Sometimes people just can't understand,
Why things get out of hand.
Sometimes life just isn't fair,
Especially when people just don't care.
And sometimes it's hard to say,
Why things have to be this way.
Sometimes it's all you can do to get by,
Especially when dreams continue to die.
Sometimes we need someone to call our own,
Especially when we're alone.
Sometimes it's nice to sit in the rain,
Even to just relieve the pain.
And when we've had a really bad day,
Sometimes we just need to get away.
We never know what's wrong without pain,
Sometimes the hardest thing and right thing are the same.
And sometimes when people get hurt,
Even the strongest ones may need comfort.

Life of mine April !

Sometimes, I used to smile when I was sad. I try to smile whenever how sad I have been though. I never expect that I could stay silence once a while in my life. I talk, I cry, I smile, I mad, I depressed and etc. I do everything for myself is because I want I need I mean to be myself all the way I be. I try harder even more harder to prove that I CAN DO IT !! Why NOT?? The stone in my heart are even heavy then everything. How can I achieve? How can I survive? Another more questions come into my life.... 

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is a dream, realise it.

Life is challenge, meet it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is a song, sing it.

Life is a sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is a tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it. 

Life is too precious, do not destroy it.

Life is life, fight for it. 

I drop down my pen and I read back. . yes. I need to face everything bravely, I need to solve it myself. I have to accept it. I need to fight for it even harder too.... I learn everything in my life. I plan everything in my life. I step to move forward... I want to achieve my dream one day. I tell myself that I can do it one day ! I have to show it. I want to let everyone know that I can do it with my both hands and legs. I can overcome all the hardness. I want everyone to stay like me, achieve whatever they dream for, achieve what they need and want. No one is perfect but you make your life better to perfect.

2013, the 1st updated

I'm back to the blogger .. 1st updated for this year 2013 ... Normally hoping to have a great year ... too bad, many problem ... example for money not enough, new year coming not yet prepare everything.. not enough income and so on .. everything come in MONEY MONEY MONEY ... how bad is that ? Without the MONEY we are always in a bad condition >< ! OH SHIT !! What can I do ? How can I settle ? Not a good news actually, life have to go on no matter what ... anyway, there is another bullshit story again .. I don't care how bad is me or how no good is me, but make sure you are good enough too before saying me. I'm always forgiving people even ENEMY or someone who DON'T like me but not the way like you said I NEVER forgive and forget PEOPLE .. Hello, you know the story behind the lies? You know me well ? You know everything if you didn't make it clear ? YOU DON'T !! Don't push everything to me yet she is the one who din't forgive and forget . You just have to shut up .. I won't blame you, but I will stop believing you now.  This is what you call you appreciate our friendship ? Nope, you are wrong... this is not friendship but is pulling me down to the shit! You make me disappointed on you. Don't make it until everyone get me wrong. I have limit, an stop being that childish ! This is why you close with me ..DOUBLE FACE ! One day you gonna pay me, I swear that ! YOU HAVE TOO ! This is what you want am I right ? Show you how bad and good is me ! You just wait and see ! Being good always give people get wrong.. ok fine, let me show you how BAD is me towards now. Don't make me pissed and slap you one day, better shut up and sitting there .. don't make everything like hell. You happy for saying people ? You happy with it? Or you get rewards to do that ? Oh holy shyt ! You are not ! You are just telling lies to recover your mistake dude. Not me is you. You gonna wake up from this stupid thinking. No one  can help you, only you can help yourself, and you have to know everything not just listen and judge. Do you like people judge you too ? I believe you not ! I'm done with this stupid thing, please get lost ! I don't wanna see you in my life any more. No more what bullshit friendship that you list it out, if you treat me as friends, you wont judge me at 1st. All of this are illusions ~ I never hope to live in this kind of life, so please stop judging me, want talk, come we go somewhere we can have a drinks and talk. Nope in this way.. whatsapp? wechat or msg. I don't wish to have any relation with you. I know that I care too much of this friendship but I realise without you, I'm much more better. You are too young, you need to learn something new dude. Not just stuck in the middle of lies. You have to find out what you really want, wish and hope. I'm tired to showing my smile and now it's time for me to show you you how BAD is me to prove that I'm not the one you mean from the 1st. I'm not revenge, I'm just letting you know, this is what we call True Story Behind The Lies. One lies can ruins thousand Truth ! Honestly, I'm sad enough ! :"(