I Don't Know WHY

All are out from my expectation. I never expect it will happen and in front me as well. I try to ignored it but when I pass by I saw the shadow of yours which deeply hurt me. It's doesn't matter if I know it from others, but I know it from you. The real you who tell me everything. I was Like " WHAT?? " and everything ends. I really don't know why I try to believe you just once and start to have a small argument between us. I try to let it go and once again you make me feel disappointed. I can don't care for what you say, but finally you tell me the truth. I really feel bad and I guess I'm stupid enough been fooling around by you all. It's not only for the 1st, 2nd and 3rd but it's too much. At last I take the 1st step move forward and say SORRY. But why? Hard for you to apologise on whatever you have done? I really don't understand. I try to find out the solving but at last I'm the want who drop into the drain. I wish could be the one who receive sorry from you and I know it's impossible. Can anyone let me know why ? You words finally wake me up and I know that I'm not the one who can receive best friends from you. Life couldn't talk about rich and poor, is true heart. Everyone take the 1st step to leave me and I could take the last step to leave all of you.. I'm not brave enough to face everything happen in my life and all is so sudden. I wish I can just scold it out, shout it out loud and release everything that make me feel bad. Haizz~ tired !! Well, life.. loads of obstacle ~ ! @@

Crocodile Farm xP

Yeah, HiHi.. Lama ehh x update.. How are you guys ?? xD Just want to share some of funny story ~ FUNNY !! Hahaha. just imagine yaa ~

Today I was too free, eh eh eh, FREE je... only for morning, BAGUS kan?? Bukan main kerja time off day ~ Menyakitkan hati je.. >< bh bh.. dun k this lah.. hahaha ~ Morning, I was too tired, why? Bring my little 2 puppy to injection.. They are jumping up and down.. >< tired carrying them and scolding. But after scold, pandai lah dengar ... ~ tu la best bagi training~ HaHa !! After that, I was waiting to someone, SOMEONE to pick me up to enjoy my day at CROCODILE FARM .. hahaha~ Long time I didn't go Miri Crocodile Farm since my aged 10. Too bad right?? Aroung 4 persons included me going to crocodile farm. There is my bestie and little cute kids. HAHA~ bukan main EXCITED mok pergi, when arrive Bergegar kaki mok naik jabatan tengok buaya~ ciahh ~ I was just too scare and I don't know why! Even a kid also more bravely then me this little old girl  @@"" hahaha ~ a lots of animals. Snake! Yellow snake is nice, but when the worker take the snack out, my heart BEAT as fast as I can't even imagine. AWW~ really scary maybe because of young don't even scare those animal, but who know, after growing scare like hell. There's still a lots of birds, horse, goat, cow, bear, fish and more. There most funny is I heard something weird .. sound like " Phuuu " .. Tut tut tut.. what is that ?? o_O turn back, I saw the bear is Fart and defecate .. Funny and cute.. ! There is a lot of crocodile. Small la, thin la, fat la, old la and even fatty ~ LOL.. Just imagine you drop into the crocodile place, become meat ~ OMG~! Kinda scary but have fun... Hahaha ~ 3.30pm, time to feed the crocodile. WOW~ they fighting for the dead chicken. Some fatty croco really lazy even sleep den don't eat.. hahah ~ I really don't know how they manage all the day to look after all the animal ~ It's cool... xP  Yeah, really hot and we kinda enjoy the coconut drinks too. It's fun, funny, hot and scary~ Ok lah.. lazy to typing any more.. xP

My Dream Place ~

Haha ~ Whole day searching for those Inspiring Pictures... ~ Especially for PARIS !! xD

Take 1 :

Just imagine it.. The place look so so so wonderful ~ It's making me feel wanted to go during the years end HOLIDAY.. (^^)v

Take 2 :

Wow.. Rose !! COOL ~ can I have one for this ?? ^^

Take 3 :

How about this one ? Look super COOL !! xD 

Take 4 : 

This one is totally Inspiring Picture...xD 

Take 5 : 

WOW ~ I like the arts.. Yeah, I can draw too but where can I get the PARIS ??? ><"

Take 6 : 

OMG !! Can I have one ?? 

Take 7 : 

 Cute Cute ~ xD 

Take 8 : 

Necklace ?? I want it .... I want it ...... 

Friendships MAY

" People who love you,

people who you love back

people that will always be there for you

through the good times and the bad 

they make you happy when you are sad

they are angels that have yet to earn their wings

they are your dearest friends"

“Friends are like your second family only closer”

“Who says there are no miracles? there are friends arn’t there?”

“Love isn’t a desise or viruse or a sickness…but a gift instead. it can’t be bought or stolen only earned. “

“If i die today, or even tomorrow i’ll have no regrets if you tell me you’re my friend”

“If you are going to jump off a mountain, I won’t be beside you. I’ll be below going to catch you.”

“We’ve shared many smiles and many tears, but nothing beats the laughter.” 




"If only I got to have this chance....."

my wife is a gangster (korean/FULL movie)

200 Pound Beauty [English Sub]

100 days with Mr. Arrogant (English sub)

Kung Fu Hip Hop 2 (Eng Sub)

[M/V] 不敗 (Bubai), Junho with Van Ness Wu

Van Ness Wu吳建豪 feat. Ryan Tedder [Is This All]官方高畫質HD完整版MV

leona lewis- bleeding love (with lyrics)

Jay Chou - Fragrance Of Rice (Dao Xiang) Sub'd

Jay Chou - Hair like Snow (Fa Ru Xue) Sub'd

周杰倫超時代演唱會(HD) 開不了口+給我一首歌的時間(特別來賓蔡依林)

头文字D-高清粤语版(中文字幕)

It's The Night ~

Here is the night I've been spend a lots of my time with my beloved 2 sisters.

Last night is my wonderful night, why? Because I've been spend much of my times with Hui Hui and Chin Fung which 2 of them was my little ill sister. Well, I never laugh or even play happily since I graduate my Form 5. Haha, It's funny to said that we laugh from 7 pm to 1 am until midnight and we start to changed our topic to talk about personal matter, life's and even ghost story. Upset is when I started to heard about accident and it's just unexpected and it's a history of my life. We used to chit chat like how people say we are " 38婆 ". Talked non-stop and laugh whole night. WE hang out just to realize some tensions or even stress. Yeah, I totally happy and THANKS THEM to accompany me whole night. We can even talked like we don't even mentions the times is running to be late and late. Suddenly, I turn to be silent, why? I also don' know why actually. Just feel bad when I pass by and I turn to think too much. Just a few minutes because HE will never get away in my mind. HE is the one I love the most and the one who never let me been bully by people. How I wish now HE were here for me and stand beside me. Although HE's not here any more, and HE will always in my HEART. You know why I like to out with 2 of them? HAHA because our topics is always connected no matter what we talked it's always connect. Haa~ the most funny is I saw a little " Cockroach " the insect I scared the most. How I don't even imagine the insect is that disgusting in my life >< "" hahaha~ we talked we play and we laugh like the crazy girl which we quite enjoy our night. HAHA ~ I hope to have this night again in my life. It's totally relaxing. HAHA ~ But there is something which I really get HOT. People say that I'm still remain the old me which is HOT-TEMPERED but that pretty CORRECT ! And don't forget that YOU are the most CRAFTY person in my life. How I wish I can just keep silent and act like nothing ever happen between YOU and ME but the words out from your mouth is totally SHARP which can SCRATCH my heart deeply. You know how I wish I can just killed you with my HEART ?? Don't show me how GOOD you are if you just want to INVESTIGATE my life. And now you know my life is GOOD and you start to SPOILED it again and again. You know how to spell DEAD in your life ? OH ya~ forget that your ENGLISH is 100% Good den mine, Oooppssss , I don't care ! You talked like you can killed me with your word but you never know that you RAINBOW word for me is just like WIND pass by me. Ouch! You hurt yourself issit? Do you need some CREAM ? Heal your HEART which is BLEEDING now. My HEART is BROKEN. And there is someone who try to fix it for me. Although it's not totally fix nicely but she keep trying and trying. YOU? GOT ? Only have a bitchy friends around you. You know why I say Bitchy friends? Because your mouth is too DIRTY! Don't always say people is BITCH if you yourself also like a Bitch! Stalked at people back sure is your hobby but you know when you say people Bitchy you must think twice who more Bitchy. HAAA ~ This is what you like to say people. I'm not saying you but I'm just telling you in our life there is always RETRIBUTION. For me, revenge and avenge really wasted my time. But I more like God give you the punishment. ( siapa terasa nasiblah ) I just hope to see you all being good friends with me and I don't ask much but now I know why some of my friends keep on advice me not to trust too much with some of my friends surround me and YES I received the advice FINALLY. It's not too late for me to wake up start from today. If you want to learn from your mistakes, I still willing giving you the chances. no matter how many chance you want, I'm here willing to give. I cannot denied my ache but I can denied that I don't care. I cried not because I scared but I've been strong for too long. I mad not because I've done anything wrong but I've been patient for too long. I laugh not because I'm happy but showing you that I still can live without you. Girls, " Life is about being yourself. Someone only you can be. Someone only you can understand . Someone that is unlike everyone else. Someone that doesn't copy others to look the same. Someone who is extremely unique. Because you are you. Be original, be creative and be YOURSELF ". I will wait until the day you turn to be yourself. The one I can fully trust. :) 

Praying for the MIRACLE !! xD 

Haiz ~

Everyday I heard of complaint there and here. Why? Just because of the rumours? I don't understand why. Well, don't say to forgive if only because of the small case. I don't need this kind of people in my life. Not enough make me suffer? Or still want to make it until I have no friends?  I really fed up! Because I hate being betrayed and yet still being double face. Girl, don't did it because you will get the same feel one day. Yes, you say I'm JELLY so? Don't you think you are? This is not double face, I just want you to understand that no everything people say is true. You can choose to not friends me but you must choose to believe yourself. You know me well, I know. But, I really hate that you remove me and ignored me without any reason. You say want to help me but at last? Remain the same. If you never betray me, you won't keep on asking me DID I EVER SAID IT BEFORE? This is insane girl. I treat you like my best friends, but what I get is enemy and rumours. How many times you want me to say that I'm TIRED with it? You remove then suddenly come back and find me again. Say what you try to forgive me and so on, can I trust it? If you really never did it, you won't remove me and you shouldn't say that you will forgive me. I know what I'm doing. I don't need rich friends in my life. Because I like my poor life and I more like to being friends with poor people because they are much more better than you all. They never talk back at me yet still helping me much more than you which know me for 4 to 5 years friends. There is no point for me to keep on explain and explain. You trust me and you will never suspect me in anyway. I do to trust you but now I guess no more. Honestly, I feel bad on how you treat me but I think back, why must I drop my tears because of you all who never appreciate me and betray me? And I know who are the right and wrong person in my life. I used to be that MEAN because I being good but you all fooling me around. I know la, I'm not as good as you all but I did to changes myself. At last, I realize that I have no point to changes myself because of you. I will just remain the old me. Don't say I never appreciate you but do ask yourself, why did you do this to me. I hold my feeling and tears and still smiling in front you just to let you know I'm strong in fake that I'm weak enough. I just hope that you give yourself a chance to understand yourself and your friends surrounding you but not to hear what people say and you do to trust it without any proven. I finally understand why poor people is crying because they lost they friends not because they poor but because they been betray by their BEST FRIENDS. I never denied that I'm sad, I just denied that I'm strong enough to face you all the time. Admit that I'm not a good person but what I know is I never let you down before. Thanks for ignored and remove me in your friend list but please be yourself. You know who you are and you know who I am. In my life, there is no enemy but I'm always here to forgive everyone and giving them a chances to make new friends with me. 

I very disappointed and I know that you are laughing me but it's okay, I really fine here and I know that one day you are going to find a better friends and not the one who like to betray each others. If I ever done anything wrong, I apologise and I don't appeal for your forgiveness. You happy and I will always happy. Before you end up our friendship I would like to say that..

 " 朋友是一辈子的 "

有时候要多了解一下自己。 当你失去了一个好朋友，你永远找不到你唯一的那个好朋友了。如何呢？你快乐吗但你失去了她？？真的不后悔吗？ 你的心真的一点都不痛吗？？

但我不知道为什么我的人生中就是那么好笑！我真的累了，我再也不想要为一个人哭了！可不可以然你们为我哭呢？

Do you deserve it ?

Look at yourself, are you deserve it or not ? Never ask me yes or no but ask yourself, are you deserve it or not?   Never repeat the same questions but do find the answer. You say you deserve it, and now why you dropping your tears? If you choose to deserve it, and you must be strong and accept what so ever decision you made and the fact. I know you will ask me back am I deserve it? I can let you know my answer now. I deserve whatever I do. You know why? Because I need to build my confident on everything I do. I need my own future. I need to be very confident because I want to be a successful person. Yes, I did drop for a few times, but I still trying my best and I never give up on what I want. I want my dream to come true, that's the fact. I want to build my own house in my coming future, I want to let people that I can do it by myself and I don't depends on people. What I want is to make my dream come true on one day. I fall down, and I cry because I fail. But I still stand up and say " I'm ok " just to show that I still have chance to try again and again. My mum ever scold me say that " Why must you look down on yourself but never try again? " and my mum say " Nothing is impossible if we try our best. " My mum advice me and let me know that there is always the chance we looking for. You believe on yourself, and there is always the chance waiting for you to grab it. We cry because we scare. We drop because we lost our confident. We smile because we can do it more better. We must learn from our mistakes before we go forward. No leg no hand can be very successful why don't we ? Believe on ourselves. Don't care what people say and how they look at you.. Just be yourself is the most important. Only ourselves can changes our daily life. Improves and move on was what I want. Although I'm a failure but I'm still standing here showing them that one day I'm not that worst. I just want to let them know that I CAN DO IT! I hope everyone will think positive and move on. I'm here willing to help all of you. I help if I can, I advice and show you the way if I can't. And I know why you feel so curious with my thinking, and all this is what my mum told me before. My mum was the girl who fall for almost 10 years and now she was standing on the top and no one ever expect that my mum was a very successful person which she work hard and let us know that work hard will give us a better result. I just want to see all of my friends, family and everyone in this world to be a successful and that was my biggest hope. :') I hope you who asking about this also can do it. Never mind if you fail, you can still try for 2nd times, 3rd times until hundred times also no problem. Because in this 100 times, sure there is one times you can be very success person. Don't give up if there is always got people hurt you, because I'm one of them which everyone try to hurt and look down on me but now I'm still smiling towards you why, because I want you to be like me. Smile and everything will be fine. I know you are in deep hurt same goes to me. I have no complete family but I have complete heart to try again and again. You have complete family and why don't you try again ? I know you can do it as long as you stand up and say " I CAN DO IT !! " I'll always support you. That's real. I support everyone who want to be a successful person. :')

Life is hard...

Recall back to my lifetime. My first time move to Miri when I'm in aged 4 years old. I live with my mum which we live in a poor condition there is no one ever expect. I'm poor, but I'm happy. Why? Because I can still having my milk all the time, 3 complete meal in a day. And my mum was the pity one which work from morning until night time and never complaint to me that she's tired of working, but she ever tell me " We do what we can. " My mum worked hard just because of me. I live at least got 10 years with this kind of condition. 10 years ago I'm 14  which I'm growing up to be a teenagers. My mum still work hard because of us. That time I have younger sister with me and my eldest sister also came back from Mukah and lived with us. I work hard not to show off but I work hard because i don't wish to stay in this condition any more. I want to changed it with better life. Can say my mum is the successful person in my life. She o what she can. She never complaint life is hard whenever we have no money but still smiling to everyone. How can I just recall back with my old life? She's the one who scolded us, punish us and care us more than anyone. Sometimes, I felt bad because of my bad tempered which like to argued with her and all is what I always need. I saw one little girl which compliant her parents not buying iphone for her yet now she have ipad 2 and samsung s2. Still not enough ?? Really don't understand this kind of kids. I hope she will realize what is hard to find money one day. I hope to advice her one day ! Appreciate what you have now, don't complaint what we don't have. We use what ever we can. But it one day when have enough money. But not comparing or show off to people. What I want to say is " You guys are triple good to have this kind of live. Can eat whatever you want, buy what you like. But, appreciate it. You might regret one day " Don't live like me but live like a normal life. It's far more better . I hope I can be a successful person one day. I promise my mum to bring her go Paris one day. So, I hope all of you all can do it too. :) Family is always the best although I very hate they scolded me but I still need them. I learn a lot of thing and that's why I like my daily life.