I Don't Know WHY

All are out from my expectation. I never expect it will happen and in front me as well. I try to ignored it but when I pass by I saw the shadow of yours which deeply hurt me. It's doesn't matter if I know it from others, but I know it from you. The real you who tell me everything. I was Like " WHAT?? " and everything ends. I really don't know why I try to believe you just once and start to have a small argument between us. I try to let it go and once again you make me feel disappointed. I can don't care for what you say, but finally you tell me the truth. I really feel bad and I guess I'm stupid enough been fooling around by you all. It's not only for the 1st, 2nd and 3rd but it's too much. At last I take the 1st step move forward and say SORRY. But why? Hard for you to apologise on whatever you have done? I really don't understand. I try to find out the solving but at last I'm the want who drop into the drain. I wish could be the one who receive sorry from you and I know it's impossible. Can anyone let me know why ? You words finally wake me up and I know that I'm not the one who can receive best friends from you. Life couldn't talk about rich and poor, is true heart. Everyone take the 1st step to leave me and I could take the last step to leave all of you.. I'm not brave enough to face everything happen in my life and all is so sudden. I wish I can just scold it out, shout it out loud and release everything that make me feel bad. Haizz~ tired !! Well, life.. loads of obstacle ~ ! @@